Today one of my students came to me after rest time and said he’d been crying. He’d been crying because he was sad about his dog dying. As he told me I could see he was still sad and still a little teary-eyed. The rest of my students headed off to lunch as I just picked up the little boy and held him. Usually I try to help my kids shake off the sadness with some distractions or some jokes but today I knew that this little boy’s sadness was a sweet gift from God for I too in that moment was sad. I had just been on Facebook and pictures of a friend who recently died were flooding my wall. I just had commented on a friend’s blog about how it’s been hard to mourn when I am away from everyone… Then my little student comes to me and as I held him I had someone to mourn with. I had someone to hold and to love and to share my sadness. I just held him. I thought about why I was sad and I thought about the sorrows of this world. I thought about how hard it must have been for my little guy to lose his dog and how sad it is for me to lose a friend.
Above all else I thought about how beautiful God is about how beautiful it was that He let me hold a hurting child and to have that moment to mourn. I knew in that moment that God had filled me with peace and that God is gentle in how He cares for His children big or small. I knew in that moment that I would be sad for a long time but that the peace of God is constant.
It is not easy to sit here and reflect on this year. I thought the hardest thing I would do this year is miss my childhood best friend’s wedding but now it seems the hardest thing is that I will be missing my childhood friend’s memorial service. It’s hard to process this loss. It’s hard to understand and shake it into reality but it’s so precious to know that God loves us in all circumstances.
Today started off with my house being infested with ants, my class hamster getting his head stuck in the cage and crying, and a child getting sick… but then I got to hold my sweet little boy and I knew it was all going to be okay… Not okay like everything will magically fall into place. Okay like God will take precious care of healing and comforting me.
So my prayer is that God would show up in these same ways to those whose loss is much closer to home. To the family and friends that have lost a child, a brother, a best friend, my prayer is that God would comfort them and give them constant peace. I pray that God would give little moments of comfort so that His great peace will fill the hearts of those in great pain. I am praying and I am trusting in God’s faithfulness.